Pupils are given some sample writing to critique using the Peer Evaluation Checklist below to gather feedback on the content and organisation of the writing. After the training exercise, they evaluate their own writing using the same checklist.
Peer Evaluation Checklist
1. Can you improve the ‘Orientation’ (introduction) of the story by providing more detailed answers to the following questions:
(a) who are the main characters in the story,
(b) where did the story take place,
(c) when did the story take place?
2. Are the characters in the story believable and interesting? Can you improve the characterization by:
(a) adding more descriptive words about the physical appearance, their dressing, etc.
(b) adding direct speech to dramatise the way they speak and also the way they feel?
3. Can you add more details to the story by:
(a) asking questions like ‘how’, ‘when’, ‘where’ and ‘why’,
(b) developing the five senses: what can be seen, heard, touched (or felt), smelt or tasted,
(c) creating an appropriate mood or atmosphere for the story to make the story more exciting, suspenseful, scary, etc?
4. Are you happy/satisfied with the way the story ended? Are there any questions that you feel have not been answered satisfactorily? How would you provide an alternative ending to the story?
Acknowledgements:
Taken from: Peter Teo (1999) Process Writing: Peer Evaluation Revisited in REACT (Review of Educational Research and Advances for Classroom Teachers), Issue No. 1, June 1999, p. 16-24
Instructions for Training in Peer Evaluation
1. Read and critique the scripts using the above criteria.
2. Compare the evaluations and note any significant differences after each member of the group has completed evaluating a script to standardize peer evaluation using a common set of criteria.
Instructions for Practice in Peer Evaluation
1. Critique one another’s writing using the same criteria.
2. When one member has finished evaluating the first script, pass on to the next member of the group in a clock-wise motion. At the end of this round-robin exercise, each of the four compositions would have been evaluated by four different students.
3. As a group, discuss the evaluation by looking at your evaluation sheets to note any significant disparity in your evaluation.
4. Return the compositions with their evaluation sheets to their respective owners for them to understand and take note of their strengths and weaknesses.
Showing posts with label *My Young Writer's Toolkit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label *My Young Writer's Toolkit. Show all posts
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Lesson 3E - Start with a Bang! - Use a Question
Example 1
Have you ever been separated from your family in a crowded place? I have, and the worst thing was that the place was pitch-dark and I could not see a single thing.
Example 2
“What have I done wrong? Is this all my fault?” These questions raced through my mind as I stared at the little boy lying on the floor, his head bent at an awkward angle.”
Have you ever been separated from your family in a crowded place? I have, and the worst thing was that the place was pitch-dark and I could not see a single thing.
Example 2
“What have I done wrong? Is this all my fault?” These questions raced through my mind as I stared at the little boy lying on the floor, his head bent at an awkward angle.”
Lesson 3D - Start with a Bang! - Use an Interesting Fact
Blackouts occur whenever the power supply is cut off. However, there could be other causes for a black-out. Last month, I experienced such a black-out, the very first one in my life.
Lesson 3C - Start with a Bang! - Describe an Action
Blackout
Lots of shouting could be heard as the magician asked for volunteers.
“Pick me!” I screamed at the top of my voice. He picked my sister, Amy. Boy, was I mad.
Accident
The two naughty boys rushed down the steps like a herd of rampaging bulls.
“Stop running!” cried the hapless teacher.
Her words fell on deaf ears as the duo continued to chase after each other in the jam-packed canteen. Engaged in their game of tag, the two boys did not notice the Principal walking towards them.
“Stop!” he warned, but it was too late.
Lots of shouting could be heard as the magician asked for volunteers.
“Pick me!” I screamed at the top of my voice. He picked my sister, Amy. Boy, was I mad.
Accident
The two naughty boys rushed down the steps like a herd of rampaging bulls.
“Stop running!” cried the hapless teacher.
Her words fell on deaf ears as the duo continued to chase after each other in the jam-packed canteen. Engaged in their game of tag, the two boys did not notice the Principal walking towards them.
“Stop!” he warned, but it was too late.
Lesson 3B - Start with a Bang! - Use a Dialogue
Fire
“Help!” May screamed in pain.
“Climb through the window. I’ll carry you out,” shouted the anxious fireman.
“No, I can’t move an inch,” May wailed, with tears rolling down her cheeks.
“Help!” May screamed in pain.
“Climb through the window. I’ll carry you out,” shouted the anxious fireman.
“No, I can’t move an inch,” May wailed, with tears rolling down her cheeks.
Lesson 3A - Start with a Bang! - Paint a Picture
Pupils learn to hook their readers by trying one of the following techniques (PDA-IQ) for a great beginning. They will try one of the techniques and try to hone their craft before using another technique for subsequent writing assignments. Pupils are advised not to memorise these sample openings. It is important to use their own words to ensure a smooth transition leading to their Event 1. It is very telling when a pupil has memorised and regurgitated chunks of material in their writing.
Paint a Picture:
Night scene - Night was settling in the city on a relaxed Saturday evening. Cheerful laughter of children filled the air as they watched a magic show in the open space in a shopping centre.
Evening scene - It was a breathtaking evening. The dazzling stars twinkled in the heavens as the full moon shimmered beautifully. It was the night of the mid-autumn festival and my family and I exchanged happy smiles as we strolled along the cobbled pathway of the neighbourhood park.
Morning scene - The smiling sun reigned supreme, painting the great canvas of the morning sky in warm hues of yellow. Cheerful laughter filled the air. Eunice was excited as she was preparing for a cool dip in the deep blue sea.
Rainy weather -
Dark threatening clouds gathered in the sky. From the distance came the low rumbling of thunder. The flint grey sky heralded another day of torrential rains. The dark clouds grew ominous. Soon, a curtain of rain beat down from the heavens. The merciless rain belted the backs of the hapless pedestrians. Their umbrellas proved useless against the lashing wind and rain. A flash of forked lightning and a great clap of thunder sounded which frightened all those round, especially me.
So much rainwater had collected on the roads that the splashes created by the passing cars were twice as high as the cars themselves. The morning was cold and wet with a brisk wind sweeping the rain across the land. The howling winds and rain drumming on my roof kept me awake all night.
The sky was covered with tumultuous dark clouds. The wind was howling and soon it was raining cats and dogs. The storm showed no signs of letting up, much to my dismay. As I had neither a raincoat nor an umbrella, I was soon drenched to the skin.
Sunrise - The sun rose in a pool of crimson and gold, spilling light over the land and the white clouds. It was the perfect day for a picnic.
Sunset - The sunset was glorious, all rosy and salmon pink. It was a lovely walk at the beach, with the sun setting behind the mountain in a sea of liquid gold. The breathtaking scenery captivated everyone, except me.
Good weather - The high sunlit clouds drifted across the clear blue sky. The sun shone brilliantly and the water in the pool glittered invitingly. It was great day for a swim. Little did I know the day would end in tragedy.
Hot weather - It was a scorching day without a whisper of a breeze. I had protested about going out in the blazing sun but to no avail. My upper lip was lined with beads of perspiration. I was feeling faint from the sweltering heat.
Describe an unusual image - Andrew watched the new girl stumbling through the noisy hallway. The girl was clutching her files and muttering to herself.
Paint a Picture:
Night scene - Night was settling in the city on a relaxed Saturday evening. Cheerful laughter of children filled the air as they watched a magic show in the open space in a shopping centre.
Evening scene - It was a breathtaking evening. The dazzling stars twinkled in the heavens as the full moon shimmered beautifully. It was the night of the mid-autumn festival and my family and I exchanged happy smiles as we strolled along the cobbled pathway of the neighbourhood park.
Morning scene - The smiling sun reigned supreme, painting the great canvas of the morning sky in warm hues of yellow. Cheerful laughter filled the air. Eunice was excited as she was preparing for a cool dip in the deep blue sea.
Rainy weather -
Dark threatening clouds gathered in the sky. From the distance came the low rumbling of thunder. The flint grey sky heralded another day of torrential rains. The dark clouds grew ominous. Soon, a curtain of rain beat down from the heavens. The merciless rain belted the backs of the hapless pedestrians. Their umbrellas proved useless against the lashing wind and rain. A flash of forked lightning and a great clap of thunder sounded which frightened all those round, especially me.
So much rainwater had collected on the roads that the splashes created by the passing cars were twice as high as the cars themselves. The morning was cold and wet with a brisk wind sweeping the rain across the land. The howling winds and rain drumming on my roof kept me awake all night.
The sky was covered with tumultuous dark clouds. The wind was howling and soon it was raining cats and dogs. The storm showed no signs of letting up, much to my dismay. As I had neither a raincoat nor an umbrella, I was soon drenched to the skin.
Sunrise - The sun rose in a pool of crimson and gold, spilling light over the land and the white clouds. It was the perfect day for a picnic.
Sunset - The sunset was glorious, all rosy and salmon pink. It was a lovely walk at the beach, with the sun setting behind the mountain in a sea of liquid gold. The breathtaking scenery captivated everyone, except me.
Good weather - The high sunlit clouds drifted across the clear blue sky. The sun shone brilliantly and the water in the pool glittered invitingly. It was great day for a swim. Little did I know the day would end in tragedy.
Hot weather - It was a scorching day without a whisper of a breeze. I had protested about going out in the blazing sun but to no avail. My upper lip was lined with beads of perspiration. I was feeling faint from the sweltering heat.
Describe an unusual image - Andrew watched the new girl stumbling through the noisy hallway. The girl was clutching her files and muttering to herself.
Lesson 2 - If you fail to plan, you plan to fail
After the group brainstorming using the story web, pupils use the Witches’ Hat to plan their own story, based on the ideas gleaned from the group. In planning, pupils plan what to focus on in the introduction/setting, how to lead to Event 1, 2, 3 etc to the climax of the story. From the climax, they will think about the falling resolution, leading to the conclusion/coda.
Lesson 1- Have a Brainstorm
Pupils use a visual Story Web to brainstorm ideas in their co-operative learning groups for their story, focusing on:
1) Orientation/Setting - Where (Place) and When (Time) does the story take place?
2) Characters - Is the character good or bad?
3) Problem - What happens to make the reader aware that something is not quite right?
4) Series of Events - What is the effect of the problem? What happens next?
5) Resolution - What happens in the end? How is the problem solved?
6) Coda/Conclusion - What does the narrator want to tell the readers at the end? What happens in the end?
Finally, as a group, they can think of a title for their group story.
1) Orientation/Setting - Where (Place) and When (Time) does the story take place?
2) Characters - Is the character good or bad?
3) Problem - What happens to make the reader aware that something is not quite right?
4) Series of Events - What is the effect of the problem? What happens next?
5) Resolution - What happens in the end? How is the problem solved?
6) Coda/Conclusion - What does the narrator want to tell the readers at the end? What happens in the end?
Finally, as a group, they can think of a title for their group story.
Introduction
My Young Writer's Toolkit for developing writing skills is designed based on the Graves Model of process writing. Different tools introduced at each of the following stages help pupils advance along the writing process
1) Brainstorming
2) Planning
3) Quick-writing of First Draft
4) Peer Conferencing for Content and Organisation
5) Re-drafting
6) Peer Editing for Language, Grammar and Vocabulary
7) Writing Final Draft
8) Publishing
1) Brainstorming
2) Planning
3) Quick-writing of First Draft
4) Peer Conferencing for Content and Organisation
5) Re-drafting
6) Peer Editing for Language, Grammar and Vocabulary
7) Writing Final Draft
8) Publishing
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